Numbing or Nourishing?
Re-examining how we spend our time.
Being productive is so highly valued in our society that as long as we are doing something, we tend to feel good about ourselves. By keeping busy, we also avoid much-needed quiet time for inward reflection. But how much of our busy-ness is nourishing our souls? Could some of that busy-ness actually be a form of numbing?
Years ago a small nagging from deep inside me, which I now refer to as my inner wisdom, told me to stop reading glossy fashion and design magazines. I realised the hours I spent pouring over those magazines, curled up in my favourite comfy chair in the bay window of my apartment, were temporarily comforting but not nourishing my soul. In fact, they were pulling my focus towards what I wanted but didn’t have, creating an attitude of lack instead of abundance. I wasn’t practicing gratitude for what I already had.
Those magazines were an escape and passed the time. They were making me comfortable, but not truly happy. I was taking myself out of the present moment, numbing myself from feeling what my life had to offer at that moment, both good and bad.
As we begin this new year with clear intentions and goals, I invite you to look at the ways in which you might be distracting yourself from the journey you are on. Are there activities in your schedule that don’t connect to one of your goals or desired feelings? Do you have habits that take you away from more meaningful work that you feel called to do? In short, are you numbing — avoiding thoughts or feelings — in some way?
Here are three questions you can ask yourself when considering how you spend your time:
Why am I doing this?
Are there any negative feelings associated with this activity?
What might I be avoiding with this activity?
Let’s walk through one example together. Melda was spending hours each week at the mall shopping. Sometimes she bought a few clothing items to update her wardrobe; other times she’d have popped out to the store for just one thing that couldn’t wait. But she had started to notice an empty feeling associated with these shopping trips.
When I asked her why she shopped, she told me it made her feel alive. She went on to say that the bright shiny shop displays were exciting, invigorating. She enjoyed the hum at the mall, which she saw as an energy.
When I asked her if the trips were aligned with how she wanted to feel, it was clear to her already they were not. (Click here for an earlier article on intentional living.) She described feelings of boredom, emptiness and anxiety, as guilt.
Then I asked her whether she might be avoiding anything by shopping. After a pause, she said that she thought she was doing it to keep busy, to keep her out of the house, where she’d be faced with the drudgery of real life. Also, she complained of never having quiet time for herself; staying home would have actually given her some quiet time, but she realised she was avoiding doing this.
This practice has led to me spending much less time on social media and in front of a screen in general. I don’t miss the TV shows I used to watch faithfully, never missing an episode; and I have a more intentional approach now to Facebook and Instagram.
Interestingly, I spend more time playing. Whereas the younger me was more goal-oriented and valued productivity above almost everything else, I now spend as much time pursuing my desired feelings as I do goals. So time with friends (connectedness), horseback riding (freedom, feeling energised, being present), tossing the frisbee for my dog (being present), jumping on the trampoline with my sons (connectedness, energised, being present) … You get the picture. These are now a regular part of my week.
Your turn:
Is there a way in which you are tuning out in your daily life? Either avoiding being present with those around you who mean most; or avoiding being alone with your thoughts? Do you have quiet time with yourself each day, in which you either journal, meditate or otherwise reconnect with your inner wisdom?
Let me know in the comments below.
And if you’ve found this post useful, please share it with a friend! I’d be so grateful.
Originally published at cecilepopp.com.
